Bloom

I felt compelled to finally write tonight. I had already climbed into bed relishing the hope of a peaceful night after a three night stand off with my 5 month old. Thats right I have a five month old, this blog hasn't been touched in 6 months. Oh there have been countless times I have eloquently written a post in my head, promising myself that tomorrow I would get it all out on paper. Somehow a dirty diaper, or a hungry baby, or my extra full dVR got in the way.  But tonight was different, I'm reading the book Bloom, by Kelle Hampton. I know she has her critics, and I have even said myself "she is just too rainbows and unicorns for me..." but really she's not. She's just like me and you, she has her insecurities and faults, but she's honest. Her story is lightyears from mine, but she managed to get me thinking enough that it was time to start writing again.
I walked back into the boys room to tuck them in and rest a quiet hand to feel the slow rise and fall of Zack's chest, and I was compelled to finally sit down and type.  Life is so different than it was a mere 6 months ago. I find myself the Mom of 2 boys... its amazing that I get up and tend to them at all hours of the day and night, my every waking thought consumed with what they need, but on a daily basis I manage to think to myself wow, I'm a mom and I have 2 kids, how did I get here. And its not all rainbows and unicorns...sometimes it sucks. The laundry piles up, we are exhausted, the baby hasn't slept for more than a 2 hour stretch...but thankfully there are nights like this when I can read a few chapters of a book and be reminded why I love my life and wouldn't change a thing. I can drift off to sleep knowing my boys are tucked safely in their beds, I can crawl into my own bed and know Ryan's arm will instinctively curl around me. It's these small brief moments of clarity that make all the time outs, tantrums, and thrown toys worth it. I need to be reminded of these moments more often, and remind myself that it is the little things that mean the most....hopefully sitting down and starting again will motivate me to keep going....I need to tell Zack's story. I have five months of mommy moments to fill you in on.

XOXO
Erin  

Nothing but time...

So at this point I have nothing but time on my hands...well at least until Monday when this little rest period decides my fate for the next 5 weeks. What will happen in 5 weeks you ask? Apparently I haven't had a second to write that Wes is going to be a big brother! Yep here I am 33 weeks pregnant with number 2 and I haven't written once...between 16 weeks of morning sickness and somehow finding myself back in a full time work situation things got a little busy. Did I mention that I became an auntie again during this little blog sabbatical? Yep he five months old...seriously I stink at this whole blog thing. So here I find myself stuck on the couch due to early contractions, my job is a bit physically demanding so we are hoping a few days of taking it easy will slow things down. Apparently I'm cooking another big boy so I am a complete giant too...no wonder he wants out, I would too!

Wes will be 21 months tomorrow...where did that 2 years go? He goes to day care full time and thankfully he loves it! He gets to see "dew" (aka Drew) and baby "d" and he thinks he is such a big boy! Did I note that Baby "D" is my new nephew Dean, the one I haven't written about...crappy auntie that I am! Wes adores him, and in fact thinks that the baby in mommy's belly is also Baby D. Anything baby related infant car seat, bouncy seat, swing...yep its all baby D's so it will be interesting when baby D and the new baby (name yet to be revealed) are together, I think Wes may be a bit confused!

As usual I need to do a little recap of Wes's milestones...more for my own record keeping so feel free to scroll ahead! We haven't been to the doctors since his 18 month check up, but in the mean time he managed to burn his hand on a curling iron...mom of the year right here. We soaked his hand in a giant pot of water while he watched little bear for 2 hours. We finally got to the doctors and got it wrapped, a bandage all the way up his arm for a burn that covered his pointer finger and his thumb...it was a proud moment. I guess this isn't technically a milestone, but for me it was a rite of passage to get through the first major injury and still be able to function. At this point Wes is talking a blue streak, I'm not always sure what he's saying, but generally I can interpret. One of his favorite expressions is "cool car!" The best part about it, the car may be the biggest beater around and Wes thinks its cool! He drives his cars all around the house and pops wheelies on his ride ons. He hasn't said it on his own yet, but I will often say "love you mama" and he repeats it...it always makes my heart lurch, I can only imagine how I'll feel when he says it on his own. My favorite Wesism right now...the need to share the love. If he kisses one of us, he must kiss us all including titan. It is so adorable that he runs from one person to the next until a kiss or a hug has been delivered to all. Food-hmmm its an interesting topic. It depends on the day, his mood, the weather, who knows? Sometimes he eats sometimes he doesn't. BBQ sauce (obviously daddy's influence) generally makes things more enticing...but he usually just ends up sucking off the sauce and spitting out the meat. Yogurt, apples, and cereal bars are usually a sure things so when in doubt we rely on those.  Okay I'll stop rambling on now....enjoy the photos!

Wes and baby D's first meeting!

Baby D 5 months later!!! 

Daddy and Wes enjoying their favorite snack! 

Wes did a great job with his puddle jumper this summer! 

Our summer hairdo...no faux hawks here!!! 

Sleepover with our cousin Quinn! 

Fall came quick!!! 

Giving Titan some love!  

Is your glass full or empty?

So today seems like as good a day as any to start writing again...Today is the 5 year anniversary of my Mother's death or the celebration of her 65th birthday. I guess it depends on wether your glass is half full or half empty. Sometimes I think how nice it would be to go back to my childhood and see things through the rose colored lenses of a 5 year old. I think my glass would always be half full. I know my niece and nephew's glasses are always chock full...when talking to them about their nana today there was such an honest innocence...comments like "she lives in her purple and pink castle in the sky"or, "well in heaven an anniversary is just like a birthday." Or maybe it was the actual sight of them standing in a cemetery in the rain eating ben 10 cupcakes and singing happy birthday. Somehow the kids always make it easier, and I think I was actually able to enjoy the day and celebrate her birthday rather than her death. I still do and always will have my moments, but today I was happy.

But how can I not be...have you seen my little boy lately....oh yeah thats right I haven't written in a million years! He is just shy of 16 months, he runs and climbs and plays, he sits at the big boy table at birthday parties, and he says entire phrases like "I want it," and "oh man!" He officially went to day care for a whole day and he didn't even cry (neither did I for the record!).  He slightly overgeneralized the sign "more" and now when you enter the house he greets you with the sign just in case you brought him a treat. He loves his cantaloupe and strawberries but in general steers clear from anything green...currently freeze pops and pirates booty are the snacks of choice. Down at Auntie Kim's house he learned that the animals there are called "kitties," funny because now he stands at the door saying "kitty, kitty" "kitty, kitty." Somewhere he missed that he's a dog owner...poor titan he gets no love these days. I think we are officially in for it, because he is getting a little fresh and just after he whacks you with a hairbrush, he wraps his arms around you and snuggles right into the crook of your neck...I don't know you tell me...face of an angel or conniving little devil?????

Easter Bunny arrived!!!

"Who stole he cookies from the cookie jar..."

Lunch with Aylin!!

Grilling like his daddy!

I'll try not to stay away so long this time!!!

xoxo

Erin 

Cracka...

Is Wes's newest word! He goes to the cabinet where they are kept, stands there, and say "cracka, cracka" over and over again. He is also appropriately and intentionally signing "more" when he wants more of something...brilliant! I finally bought myself a copy of What to Expect-The Toddler Years so of course now we spend our days testing out skills and checking them off the list! Today we scribbled with a marker, and then we colored our mouth purple...yum!

Guess it's time to get some crayons...We also started work on our body parts. Of course by the end of the evening he had mastered head...today work begins on belly, I will keep you posted!

Since this has become a bit of an online baby book, I guess I should list some of the things that have become popular around the Petersen house....in no specific order....

Good night Gorilla
Jake and the Never Land Pirates
The toilet and the brush we use to clean it
Mark West Pinot Noir...okay thats Mommy's favorite...
Throwing diapers (yay!), sippy cups, and silverware (boo) in the trash
Bank tellers that give us lollipops

Thats all I got for now...Cabin fever is hitting hard and we can't wait for warmer weather so we can get outside and play! 

xoxo

Erin 

Good Night Gorilla...and other random fun

Tonight we read Goodnight Gorilla for like the 7 zillionth time. Nap time, bed time, and any other random time he happens to pick it up, as if its some new found treasure he never saw before. He laughs at all the right places and as long as he continues to look at me with those huge eyes and that giant smile every time mrs. zookeeper find the animals in her room I will continue reading it 700 hundred times a day. He kills me...those eyes they get me every time! I have stopped getting teary every time we get to that part, and now I am able to just be happy and enjoy that we are sitting together reading...a real  life version of the daydreams I had when we were struggling to get pregnant. And as he grows and gets stronger, and he climbs on the furniture, and fights for the remote controls and cell phones, and when he won't eat his vegis I  take a step back and remember what a blessing and a gift his little life is, and I try not to be frustrated...although when he turns off the TV and calls china and feeds the dog an entire bowl of goldfish (all in 5 minutes) it does take a little more self control...

Not sure if I told you...we have an official walker now. Not just steps from one place to another, we are full on walking...even responding to the cue "stand up and walk." His little bum sticks out and swings side to side to help balance him...it is one adorable sight....having a bit of a technical difficulty, I will post the video asap!


Wes also hit Vermont for his first official weekend in Quechee. It was a weekend full of Toomey family fun, Auntie Nikki, Uncle Rick, Uncle Chris, Luke and Liv were all there to cheer Luke on in the Quechee Club's cardboard box sled derby. I'm not sure Uncle Chris knew what he was in for with the 6 am wake up call from Olivia...."Peekaboo...it's me O-livia!!!!" It was a really fun weekend though, and we are already in the planning stages to sweep the competition next year!

Uncle Ryan set the mood with "flash" pancakes

Off to the races....

We came in second in our heat...it could have been a photo finish!!!

...and in closing I would just like to brag a little....my kid throws away his own diapers....tries to unlock the door with keys...puts his own dirty silverware in the dishwasher....seriously, he's a genius! Here are a few more shots of my perfect little man...I know, I know I'm his mom, I'm allowed to brag!

Wes Loves his chair!!

xoxo
Erin

All you need is love...

Happy Valentine's Day...a day late. I figured I was still safe since One Tree Hill just celebrated tonight...yep just admitted that I still watch one tree hill...Anyway hope you all had a very happy heart day! Big week over here! I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Wes is walking..(as of Monday, February 7) its more of a run run dive, but I will take what I can get. Its funny because everyone keeps telling me to be careful what I wish for, but I can't wait until he can toddle around next to me, and I don't have to lug his 20 pound body around all the time...and apparently he looks like Curious george doing the 3 limb shuffle to get around!
I continue to be amazed at his development...today he took Ryan's hat and put it on his head...he says "hockey" and then runs and gets his hockey stick...he yells "bye" when we are leaving the house or going to bed...I could brag forever.....but instead I will leave you with his 1 year photo shoot...and as I continue to   complain about the housing market and being stuck in our "shed", and the ridiculous winter we are having here, oh and the gas prices....I try to remember that all we need is love.....

xoxo
Erin

Wes is one!

...and I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I was definitely more emotional than I expected! Lying in bed the night before his birthday I relived all the excitement and emotion of his "birth" day. I reminisced about the dinner Ryan and I had the night before, which neither of us really ate, the trip to the hospital, the epidural that I feared for the entire pregnancy, then the amazing feeling of his actual birth (I know I didn't really "feel" it, but you could feel the energy of what was actually happening). I can remember telling Ryan  that it was the strangest thing I have ever experienced....and then there he was, and he was...insert expletive here...huge! Or at least that was how Ryan announced it! I remember not getting to hold him much because he was so "quiet" or at least that is what they called it. They kept taking him from Ryan and putting him under the lights. Who would have thought that this would just be his disposition! Its funny though, the things you remember, I will never forget that for the first hour I texted. Yep I was texting...in between throwing up...of course it was to share in the good news and tell everyone how perfect he was, but seriously I spent the first hours of his life attached to my cell phone!!! Sign of the time I guess, because within a minute of his birth the news was sent out over the airwaves and the well wishes began to roll in! As the hours passed, the more nauseous I got, which resulted in more medication, ultimately leading to me being completely comatose. I have vague memories of family streaming in to meet him, and nurses coming to check vitals, and to get him to eat. The next lucid memory I have is the Doctor coming to tell me he was in the NICU for low blood sugar. I guess I didn't really comprehend it until the morning when we woke in a hospital room and he was not with us and I couldn't just take him from the nursery...even if I wanted to I was unable to get up with out swaying and falling back down. It was then that I really began to feel the reality of the situation...we were parents and our baby was in a special nursery without us. It was here that Ryan really became a dad...he called the nursery and spoke with the nurse....a seemingly easy enough task....but to hear him say "I'm looking for information on my son" really brought it all home for me. We were no longer a couple, we were a family of 3.
The rest of the year is blurry with excitement of night time feedings then sleeping through the night, sleeping all day to a 2 hour if I'm lucky nap, baby food to grilled cheese and pizza, bottles to sippy cups, stationary to mobile, and crawling to just about walking! We hear mama, dada, uncle, and hot dog (random I know!) He recognizes his family and favorite characters, shows, and music. He hugs and kisses and throws himself to the ground when he's angry....in a year he has gone from completely dependent to independent...and I'm unexpectedly emotional. There is so much more to this amazing year but I will leave you with the excitement of his birthday weekend. We celebrated Mickey style and really had a great time. We enjoyed lunch with friends on Saturday, and then spent Sunday with family dancing to the "hot dog" song and chowing down on pulled pork (haha Wes LOVES it!), mac and cheese, cupcakes, and cake pops (super cute, yet way more work than worth!). It was fun to see all Wes's cousins together, singing happy birthday and helping him blow out his #1 candle! I can't wait to add one more cousin to the crew next year...Auntie Nikki has finally given me the go ahead to write it on the blog, she is expecting baby #3 in June! Lots of pics from the weekend below!

xoxo
Erin

First present of the day!!!! Seriously Mommy its toooo early for this!

Round 1!!!

Cake Pops!!!

Round 2!

My wonderful family of 3!

Seriously Mom, this wooden stick is so much more fun than opening presents!